Hot Wheels

So, my mum has given me the permission to announce this to the whole world.
I've passed my JPJ examination and will be getting my probation licence soon and will be terrorizing the streets and hearts of SP.
=]

Christmas and the Hols

It's the time of the year again where the routines repeat. Cleaning are done around the house. Lights and decorations are put up. Homes are well-lit at night, merry and bright. Food items are bought in vast quantities, for guests ans hosts consumption. Caroling and choir practices to attend. Shopping for presents and clothes for the festive season.

For this year, an extra item is added to the list of things to do. Passing the darn JPJ exam right after Christmas Day. Since it's a month of giving and loving, with the grace and mercy of God, I need to pass. Nothing beats owning a car of your own, driving around town to paint it red. Going anywhere you want without relying on other people. I think I'm slowly becoming a ah-ma speed junkie.

Ps: currently eyeing the purple automatic Perodua My-vi on display for my first car. Thoughts?

Need for speed

So, as I'm getting myself ready for my next driving class which will commence in like 1 hour, I began to realize that I'm much more relaxed compared to last week. I think I finally have got a hang of things and is making good progress (all except the speeding part). So, I'm gonna go there and enjoy myself, knowing that one day all the pressure of driving will slowly wean away. But the technicalities of driving is killing me! So many rules and stu*** techniques to remember when you park, stop and even reverse the vehicle. But all that is menial compared to the rush of adrenaline when you step on the gas to power a speeding Kancil. Imagine how it would feel when the car runs on much higher horse power. Magical!

Home

Nothing is sweeter than being back home. Purely because you can start being a slob again really makes me happy. On a second note, my "Need for License" classes will begin soon. Pressure!

Clarity

This is where some of us clearly belong

So near yet so far

Looking at the calendar makes me yearn for it all to be over. Sometimes, I wonder if everything we're doing now is enriching and making me grow. Some of the courses and activities got me thinking, about my career and life in general. But quite frankly, enough is enough. Just because we constantly make ourselves available for lectures and courses, that doesn't guarentee that we'll be amazing teachers in the future.

And reading pages and pages of government acts and all these red tapes for government services is making me sick. Frankly, why can't they have given us all this earlier? And what's with completing assignments before the course on the assignments even begin? How is that any way a realiable and valid form of testing? I guess that's what you get when the people sitting on those high chairs have no basic foundations in the business that they are trying to change. Want to be a minister of education? At least get a degree in education and teach for a minimum of 10 years. Experience the trade before you implement changes that would only be changed back to the "comfortable" method that brings you predictable results. Nobody grows without trials and tribulations. Great men comes from the failures that they experience because failures can humble a man.

Change

Well, i guess it's almost the time of the year where people reflect on the things that happened over the year. I don't really know what i need to reflect on because frankly, i don't really know what took place. It was as if i was someone else or took on some different characteristics that i never knew i had. But i guess that what people call a change.

Monkey talk

I tried to get the monkey to have a go at debate where they have to provide reasons on whether they would give up their handphones or give up the use of the Internent. And man, it was chaotic!! They were just shouting about and arguing for the sake of arguing. I'm never gonna do this again until i figure out how do i handle a bunch of monkys just shouting at one another. I need a plan to control them so that they can learn to debate/argue more politely. Any suggestions??

On the other hand, it snowed! In Auckland!! Man, i can't believe I missed it by about a year. But then again, snow is messy and troublesome. Not at all pretty and romantic. I mean, snowflakes and liht snow may set the mood well but snowstorms...??!! No thank you!!

oh, no

Oh no. School's starting again and this time, it's on! Big time! There's so many thing to do and think about for the second phase. Evaluation, observations, test papers to design, marking test papers, classroom management, time management etc etc. I can feel the headache coming.

ps: I wana watch Captain America but when??!!

Finally

After 4 weeks of slogging and driving myself crazy with lesson planning and material management, I can finally take a break =]

I mean, I don't think I was ever this happy about the idea of returning back to IPBA but who can say no to being back to my lazy and passive self during lectures?? And meeting everyone once again to gossip and hang out?? Sign me up!!

The kiddos did ask if I'm ever coming back. I told them if they are nice enough, I just might. Some naughty ones even went to the extend of saying that they will cry every night to sleep... Kids these days.

But yeap, am looking forward to being back and most importantly, am looking forward to some rest and recuperation time.

내가 제일 잘나가

Yes, another week went by and it was tiring and terrifying at the same time. Tiring because, hey, planning a lesson can suck the soul out of anyone if done long enough. Added with material preparation and classroom management, i'm amazed no one has gone amok yet. Terrifying because of the added pressure of observations. You get extra nervous and make extra, glaring mistakes that you've never made before. Oh well, it's part of learning. Just have to make the best out of it. Another 9 weeks to go and i can;t wait for the weekends =]

Some oldER people can be so annoying. Let me share with you an incident that happened. There are 2 teachers in my school that looks alike. Well, at least to me, the newcomer. And since they aren't my students, English language teachers and the big and bigger bosses in school, it took me some time to get to know some of them. So let's just call these two teacher A and teacher B. One day, as I was walking towards the staffroom with a few of my students, I saw teacher A. Assuming that he was teacher B, I called out "Good morning, teacher B".
"I'm not teacher B. I'm teacher A. I know you're name. Miss Chong. And how can you not know me?"
I was a little shocked but calmly I replied "I"m so sorry teacher A. I really thought you were teacher B. But just out of curiousity, so you know my full name?"
"I know you're Miss Chong. Isn't that enough?" He said to me, smugly.
I wanted to be the bigger and better person so i replied "Oh, but i though you said you knew my name. That would mean you knew my full name. I guess you don't. I'm sorry again for assuming that you're teacher B." and i just walked off with my students.

Moral value of the story: Be the better person. In fact, tell yourself that you're the best and take everything with a grain of salt. Some of them have nothing to do (or not doing what they are supposed to do) and just wants to make your life a living hell. Smile at that person and be the better person.

Yet another week

Another week has ended,
and frankly, I think I'm getting a hang of school life.
I'm getting used to the routine of the weekdays that it doesn't bother me anymore.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm nowhere near perfect.
Just a little better than before.
I still struggle with lesson planning, classroom management,
time management and disciplinary issues in my classes.
But at least, I'm doing the best I can,
Learn along the way,
And make the best out of the situation given.
So far, I've done things I thought I would never do
and things that I'm not particularly proud of
But it's going to be a learning process
And how do I learn if I don;t make mistakes?

In relation to school

Everybody's blogs and status updates are school-related.
And how can that not be the hottest trending since many of my friends are in fact teachers-to-be.
As for me, let me just frankly say that yes, it has only been a week.
10 more (long) weeks to go.
But I'm physically and mentally tired from all the planning and photocopying.
I can't wait for the weekends.

On a different note, everything else has been great =]

First day at School

So, yeah. Although the official starting date for school is next Monday, we thought that it would be a great idea to drop by the school to introduce ourselves and maybe get some official paperwork out of the way before next week. Ha, sadly did we know that we not only managed to get ourselves assigned to a mentor, 9 periods of English, met some of the administrative bodies as well as going in for relief (twice!). We even managed to get ourselves tangled up in a student conflict about stolen properties. All these before we officially report for duty.

It's gonna be a long 12-week practicum session.

United Colours of Happyness

Walking with the black parade, I wore my snowy white dress with a single braid. Little did I know, but I miss you so. You were my blue-eyed boy and sometimes you can be so coy. This is my golden opportunity, my silver lining in the grey clouds of our memories. I have to say, I have to admit that I was green with envy. You should have seen how red you were with fury. But you always looked at me through rose-coloured glass. That's finally over, I knew it would never last. It's time our chapter closes. Here in the purple rain, I placed those yellow roses. Feelings, forever in my heart they reign. But today, believe me when I say. United colours of happiness is my best day.

This is our lives on holiday

The holidays have officially started for many. I've only been home for the last 18hours and I've already felt pampered and well-fed. I can't wait to weigh myself at the end of this 3-week break. So, what do I plan to do during this short break I have before I go back to the realities of being a teacher? Some friends have already planned holiday trips around Malaysia to attend wedding dinners and some have even left overseas (directed to a particular person in Japan). Knowing how lazy I can be, I believe the furtherest I would travel would be to Penang island (again) to catch up with DAN. He's working now so hopefully that pig can make time for this lonely person. Another thing that I definitely need to check off my list is my driving lessons. I hope to settle that soon to stop the teasing and mean laughters about me not having my licence. Other than that, I think a fair share of shopping, reading, hanging out with my buddies and easting out will be sufficient before the practicuum begins for us >.<"

crazy weather's making me sick

It's official. The weather is going crazy! It was raining like cats and dogs just a while ago and it felt so awesome to sleep. But then an hour later, I woke up.. sweating on my bed! I want to nap longer and what's more, i dont want to fall sick. Falling sick is a misery. I think my throat is signalling my brain that it'll be trouble soon >.<"

Walking on Sunshine

And all the VIPs rejoice! After contemplating for hours, I decided to check Uniqlo out and got myself this! A special thank you shoutout to miss Anita Mary and miss myn sinnadurai for waiting in the long queue with me to feed my Kpop obesession. Thy great sacrifices shall not be forgotten >.<

Epiphany

Talk about epiphanies and realization. Reality dawned and hit, hard. Three things I recently became aware about and actually appreciate.

First: All assignments are done. For the whole degree. For good.
That makes me smile of course. Cause I despise assignments. Can't stand them. Just wana complete, print and hand them in. Total social-life sucker. Glad we're parting ways, my friend.

Second: True friends aren't afraid to be truthful to you. It may hurt so bad but they'll be there to wipe aways your tears and build you up again.
Hmm... I think I just realized not long ago that I've lost this privilege. I haven't felt like this in a long time. People around me are so careful about hurting people's feelings that they'd rather lie to their friends' faces. That's honestly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I'd prefer friends who are honest and brave enough to say to that I'm fat, rude, loud, pompous, inconsiderate, aggressive to my face than to cover everyhting up, smile and say nothing and later to find out that they've been talking behind my back. Nothing hurts more than betrayal. Nothing. Oh, and no guts, no glory!

Third: We're gonna be friends and that's it!
Yeap, finally.. After so long, I'm glad I had this epiphany. Sure, we like each others company and have fun together. We feel comfortable around each other. I'm not afraid to tell him what I think and I'm sure he's truthful and sincere enough to be honest with me. I'm glad we're friends cause he's awesome to have around. I just want that to remain.

Baby GoodNight

Rain
Queue
Crowd
PARTY
Sweat
Ache
COMPLACENT.

I partied. Big time.
Big deal. BITE ME! >.<

The fine line between Dependence and Faith

Lately, I noticed that there are a lot of incidents and situations where dependence takes place. We depend on our family, friends, lectures even strangers.

Lately, I also noticed occassions and circumstances of faith taking place.
We walk, talk and live in faith.

But many confuses faith and dependence.
Although the nature of both acts seems similar, the impacts of such actions defer like heaven and earth.

So, we draw a fine line between dependence and faith.

Dependence is instant.
It also brings brief joy but endless pain and disappointment.
It's like cola. Soothing and refreshing at the first gulp.
But is stale and runs out fizz immediately.
It's like running on a treadmill. Provides support for those feet.
But causes a fall once I can't keep up.
It's like a helium balloon. Attracting attention high up in the sky.
But all is lost as it slips out of my hands.
It's like chocolate brownies. Sugary and packed with excitement.
But is queasy and unsettling in bounty.

However,
Faith is eternal.
The sweetness of its fruits will quench everlasting thirst.
And satisfy never-ending hunger.
It's like the encyclopeadia. Rich and full of wisdom.
But also specially dedicated to me.
It's like a pacemaker. Giving me a prominent scar.
But also assures me of a better life.
It's like coffee. Addictive and full of satisfaction.
But also provides the jolt I need when weary.
It's like lifting weights. All fit, slim and slender.
But alo gives muscles to carry immense weight of life.

It was never a question of which is better than the other.
It was never a question of choosing the best choice.
It ha always been "Why so little faith, my children?"

Don't Think You Do

Walk away, that's your clue
Push push me away, that's all you ever do
You say you're nice
Why do I pay the price?
Promising me the world and the moon
That's just cruel, a little too soon.

I'm so sorry but I love you
Lies, I know them too.
But standing here, I spit what's true
I'm so sorry but I don't think you do.

You're afraid the stars will harm you
Run away, from all pain and hard truth
Losing sparks and feeling numb.
Insecurities and acting dumb.
That's what you have become,
Don't you dare tell me to stay calm.

I'm so sorry but I love you
Lies, I know them too
But standing here, I spit what's true
I'm so sorry but I don't think you do

Wanting back your heart and soul.
All to feed, feed your popularity.
There's nothing I can return oh, so cold.
When your heart was never even my property.

I'm so sorry but I love you
Lies, I know them too
Treating me right
Only for one night
Standing there, all alone
I'm so sorry but I'm already gone.

Trying too hard

Everyone wants to be somebody these days.
They thirst for the limelight and more attention.
But is it all worth it?

Who do we want to impress?
Ourselves or others?
Why try so hard to fit in?
When you're clearly feeling like fish out of water.

What's the freaking point?
Of being popular but uncomfortable in your own skin?
Of being someone people lust after but never loved?
Of impressing other but feeling lonely and empty inside?

The world is occupied by people who are so full of themselves.
Narcissist, egoist, posers
Proudly claiming to be individualistic, special and unconventional
When in reality, everyone;s just full of s***
And that.. is just so pathetic!

Two

There are two of them.
Both equally loved by people.
Both equally special in their own ways.

Then there's a storm that drew them apart.
One denied all the roots of the problem and the other refuses to budge.
Not knowing the source, you stood right in the middle.
Looking left and right.
At both of them, wondering what to do.

You finally decided.
To just stand and watch.
The world you once know break apart.
And you begin to wonder
Where did it all go wrong.

There are two of them.
Both equally loved.
Both equally special.
But in the end,
there are three lonely people in the world.
And they never knew,
How did everything turn out so wrong.

Do the thinking yourself

"There are two things that are certain in life. Death and taxes"

I am constantly asked about my obsession with death and unhappy-ever-after take in life. People question the endings of my stories, asking why certain characters have to die or suffer seperation and loneliness.

You see, the interpretations you make after reading a story is not influenced by the writer but it is affected by your own judgement and principles. A writer can never impose their thoughts and interpretations to their readers. They can only suggest and imply silently. They can provoke your thoughts to question and conclude. They want you to think and come up with conclusions that satisfy you.

To those who think that Amy-May always flood herself with gloominess and the gothic-ness of death and darkness is only placing your interpretation of these elements on me. To me, death is a beautiful thing. There is victory and power in death. It is not an end, but a beginning to a greater journey.

So the next time you read something and feel that the ending is crap/sad/unhappy, ask yourself this question. Why do I think so? Because I can assure you that unless the author states his or her take on the crap/sad/unhappy ending, it's all in your head. It isn't the author that is sad/lonely/sick in the head, it's you.

The pressure of being someone else is overwhelming lately.
Being fed details of my weaknesses, my lacks.
Being shown the possibilities, what I should be.

Desires to run.
Dreams of hiding.
Longing to pretend.
Yearning to hold back.

Lies.
Deceit.
Deception.

But who is right?
Me or them?
But who decides?
Me or them?

Who do I really want to be?
Someone?
Or me?

Red packets and Loud family members

It's the time of the year where Chinese everywhere rush home to celebrate the Chines New Year. Traffic gets extra bad, people get extra frustrated and food gets extra expensive. Everywhere you go, your ears are tortured with CNY songs and your eyes are blinded with red, yellow and gold colour in the name of prosperity.

Not forgetting the family members and relatives that you meet once a year, getting together for a family reunion dinner. Nothing beats the chopstick martial arts move you pull everytime you try to get some food in your mouth. The best would still be the astonished look on your cousins' faces when you managed to get a small piece into your mouth before you strike again.

Uncles and aunties ask similar questions according to your age group every year. For primary school kids, they'll complement your growth and academic achievements. Secondary kids usually get reminded of major examinations and tertiary kids are praised for making Daddy and Mommy proud. Young adults get told of how pretty/handsome one turn out to be.

But questions of one's relationship status never fails to make it to the list of questions. Those single suffer through quaries of their ability and choice to look for partners as well as agonize about aunties that tries too hard to set you up. For those with partners, wedding questions are unavoidable. Similarly, interrogation related to children and grandchildren can be heard among the recently married couple.

All in all, CNY is a time for family and getting together to celebrate joyuous moments. Sometimes, sticky situations are inevitable in large family reunion. The best you can do it try your best to hide or come up with wonderful, evassive abilities to dodge these dangerous questions that are utterly annoying.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone and Gob bless!

The definition of love

During our Lit tutorial today, somehow the discussion diverted to the definition of love. (Don't ask me how we managed to manuever the discussion there. I wasn't really paying attention). So, Dr. S was going around the class and asking us what do we understand by love. There were plenty replies but there are a few that stood out because they were just plain cute, weird, realistic etc. For example;

AM said that love is when Mommy and Daddy hold hands.
GYS said that love is Malaysia.
and I think GL will say that love is money and shoes and bags and shopping. I can't totally disagree with her =]
Personally, I think that love is when I no longer have to be afraid.

Well.. Thanks to Dr. S, I've decided to Googled the definition of love namely from little kids. This is what I found:

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen," Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6

"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 8

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore," Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine -age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget," Jessica - age 8

Ps: Especially like the fianl one.

New Year Resolutions??

Frankly, new year resolutions are like chains that binds you in the spirit of New Year and then you toss them out like stale bread in a few days. So what's the point of new year resolutions? Resolutions allow you to imagine the fantasy or the possible you but the reality sets in and bad habits take control. So why try to change yourself?? Isn't great being just you and embracing the special qualities of yourself?

Hence, I'm embracing the lazy and fickle-minded me this year so, no new year resolutions!